I don't know where I belong

I've been home in Sweden for almost three weeks now, but I'm not really sure why I'm here anymore... I love my family and it does feel good to be back, to be able to hug my mom everyday and laugh and joke around with my dad and my brother. But except for that, my family, I don't really know what's keeping me here. I might sound super depressing and whiny right now but ever since I came back I've been feeling lonelier than ever. All my friends are gone for school or are busy with work and have found new friends and new people to spend their time with. And I keep thinking about how I also had all that just a few weeks ago, but how it's all so far away for me now. That even if I try to talk to them it's not the same... When I'm bored I can't just call them and ask if I can come over, We can no longer just sit around and watch movies or go for walks around the park 'cause we have nothing better to do. I can't just drive over to the appartment because I have something I really wanna talk about, something I can't tell anybody else, and I can't laugh in the car with someone that always made me feel better. 
What I can do is look at the pictures from the time when I could, I can smile and remember, and I can send a message and tell them I miss them. And then I can look at all the pictures that are being taken without me, over there and over here, and I can close my eyes and hope that this feeling in my chest won't last for long...
But right now, right here, I'm not sure where I belong

Birthday week

The time is running out and the day when the airplane is taking off to take home to Sweden and the fall is approaching… The day that I have to say goodbye to my awesome friends and fantastic family. The day that I’m not longer sure that I’m looking forward to…

Anyway, Thursday was my 21st birthday so it’s been a whole lot of celebrating the last couple of days. It started out Wednesday night when we all gathered at Chris and Garrets, we had a countdown and when midnight hit I got a lot of hugs and we went to a bar to keep celebrating. Everybody were happy, bought drink and shots and when the bar called the last drink both me and Ronnie probably had a little more to drink than we anticipated. But we had so much fun!
Although the morning after I woke up with the worst hangover ever and went home to sleep the rest of the day. That night I got cake and presents from the family and then me and Elin went down to meet up Ronnie and Sarah downtown for dinner and drinks.
Unfortunately the birthday joy didn’t last for long… I that thought I had the worst hangover in history wasn’t feeling very well after the dinner. I tried my best to cope through the night, drank only water and focused very hard on the band playing in the bar we were at. But when Sarah later on stood up and said she was going home cause she wasn’t feeling well we all started wondering if it really was the hangover that made me feel like shit.  It later turned out that both Sarah and me probably had gotten food poisoning; great birthday!
But the Friday I was feeling better again and my family had decided to throw me a party. A lot of people showed up and we had the most awesome night with great food, drinks and kids running around singing “Happy Birthday Jonna”. At midnight I got a text from Garret saying he was on his way to pick me up so that we could meet up with our friends at a bar near their house. So the night continued with more partying and more fun!

Mike gave me this super nice football jersey with nr 8 on it because I came to Omaha August 8th last year
Today we have been watching football and just been taking it easy all day and tomorrow Ronnie is gonna be back from her weekend trip and more partying is on the schedule!
I'm gonna miss everybody so much...


There's a thunder strom outside and I can't sleep so I'm spending this night reading quotes and listening to cheesy love songs.